The Temkin Tribune

Houston Stew...Guest Reporters???...

Houston Stew

Here is the family recipe for that famous dish Houston Stew.  This is a variation of a "Maureen-DiMarco-Day Stew"  made popular and frequently by our MOM. 

Pre-heat a couple of urban lawyers; one fairly large and neurotic, Chocolate Lab; and one very bossy Beagle; and two baby girls; and one baby boy to 93 degrees, 99% humidity.  Stir vigorously using hurricane force winds, and as much water as you can add.  Then add some more water.  Now let rest in Houston for a couple of days. While adding one (albeit great) Boss, his ex-wife and her cat, remove sleep. Remove power and air conditioning.  Remove dishwasher. Remove washing machine  Then relocate first 7 ingredients to Corpus Christi for several more days.  Return the mix to Houston.  Try to establish a normal life...for as long as it takes...Add on huge court case in California. Did I say "remove sleep?" Add Night Nurse, Nanny, and 2 Grandmas.  Wait and see.

I am hoping that my Mom will once again write for the Temkin Tribune.  You see she has gone back to Houston to help out with my sister's triplets and she has gone to Houston knowing that the city is still in terrible disarray after the last Hurricane...Ike, was its name I believe.  Hopefully, Mom and our dear family friend Kathy will be able to report first hand what it is like there...So go ahead Mom... Kathy ...Anytime you are ready...

Was it the Tomato??? or maybe we should have named him "Hoover?"

Just a few moments ago I heard the pitter-patter of not so small feet and an urgent and nearly whispered call for assistance emanating from the upstairs bathroom.  "MOM - I am going to speeeeeewwwww!"  Oh boy...here we go.  The good news is he feels better but poor Ben...he is always the one who gets the "spew bowl" first in our family's disease progression.  Hopefully it is NOT from a tomato...but it may be from something he ate this morning...Possibly, it is because he had too much fun...in too much heat maybe...I am not sure.  Anyway he is back in bed now...with his bowl.  Poor Benjy.

Now about the tomatoes...how are the tomatoes getting Salmonella???  Is it in the processing?  But the tomatoes seem to come from so many places...DO all the tomatoes go to only a few processing plants??? And why only some varieties from some places...Is some nefarious person or persons rubbing America's tomatoes on chickens and putting them back into the crate.  Actually, did you know that in 1984 the Rajneeshees engineered the first documented bioterrorism attack on America... using Salmonella!!!  Here is my info...again thank you wikipedia.com. The complete reference can be found here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1984_Rajneeshee_bioterror_attack

1984 Rajneeshee bioterror attack

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1984 Rajneeshee bioterror attack
Four of the restaurants in The Dalles affected by the attack
Location	The Dalles, Oregon, United States
Coordinates	45°36′4″N, 121°10′58″W (45.601218, -121.182774).[1]
Date	August 29 – October 10, 1984
Attack type	Bioterrorism
Weapon(s)	Salmonella entericaTyphimurium
Injured	751 people infected, 45 hospitalizations
Perpetrator(s)	Rajneeshee commune management

The 1984 Rajneeshee bioterror attack was the food poisoning of more than 750 individuals in The Dalles, Oregon, United States through the contamination of salad bars at ten local restaurants with salmonella. A leading group of followers of Osho, then known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, had hoped to incapacitate the voting population of the city so that their own candidates would win the 1984 Wasco County elections.^[2] The incident was the first bioterrorismattack in the United States, and the single largest bioterrorist attack in United States history.^[3][4] The attack is one of only two confirmed terrorist uses of biological weapons to harm humans.^[5]

^{Back to me....}

This is a mystery I need to have solved immediately.  This story and this tomato recall are very, very strange indeed.  He ate a grape tomato yesterday and one at dinner today...we didn't let Michael eat ANY tomatoes and I would have stopped Ben but ...well let's put it this way.  Trying to stop a hungry nine-year old male eat a tomato that you haven't even noticed yet because your dish is only just being set before you...well, it is not easy.  I can't come up with a clever simile...Nine year olds who are hungry...well they are just darned quick...My guy can snarfle down and entire appetizer and all of the bread before anyone else notices it has reached the table...You'd better just order two if anyone else would like to share.  He is like my new Eureka Upright when it comes to the consumption of food. (Ah, there is the simile...whew...perhaps not an original idea on my part but you do get the picture.)

No fever, no digestive issues at the other end, no head ache, no muscle aches...Just a couple of volleys...I'll keep you posted...

Up all night with one Hot Dog

OK -  so in honor of Noelle and Eric's first night home with their little dumpling we stayed up all night with our own little hot dog. She sure had a rough night and so did I. In one of my posts I started to tell the story of Tilly's trip to the vet and her surgery the next day to remove one of her swollen lymph nodes for biopsy.  Damn it!  Another biopsy...I have had it with biopsies.  The Doctor was not happy to find that all of Tilly's lymph nodes were extremely enlarged.  The nodes under her chin were as large as chicken eggs.  Tilly must be so uncomfortable...This time we are hoping not to find lymphoma.  Unfortunately, Tilly's heart is enlarged,as well as her liver.  She had one of the lymph nodes on her back leg removed on Wednesday but by Friday she was not eating or drinking.  We canceled our family trip to Canada for some pre-chemo week fun with some family friends.  by Friday night Tilly was feeling pretty awful.  We called the emergency answering service for our vet and after several calls our Doctor finally called back and I was off for aspirin from the gas station.  The next morning Michael went to the vet's to pick up the prednizone and Cipro Tilly was supposed to come home with on Wednesday night.  Anyway, Tilly is feeling a little better and we are still waiting for the pathology report. Please keep your fingers crossed for our sweet girl.

Three Little Dumplings

I am an AUNT three time over.  Our three little dumplings were born at the end of March.  These three gorgeous babies and their parents are all doing very well.  I simply cannot wait to get my hands on them...It will be a while though as Michael will be undergoing his chemotherapy for quite a while.   Back to my babies...I mean my sister and her husband's babies...I am very pleased to report that my sister is doing very well in her recovery. And was even called to testify in court on Wednesday.

Since I started this post a week ago, one of our babies has been sent home with his parents.  Our big boy was first promoted to the nursery where he received clothing and just like Doby from Harry Potter, receiving clothing is step before receiving freedom.  And so our big guy is doing what all guys would like to do...hanging out in his "man cave" with his favorite people (one of whom is a chesty brunette the other is his handsome and fun favorite dude), sucking back the liquid refreshment, sleeping and occasionally having a good poop (I hesitate to use the word "Bazonga"...see post about Taxes and Poop.)

The other two dumplings, our little girls are doing very,very wonderful things too.  Our sweet, mighty mite is growing up a storm. And our beautiful girl has plans of her own to come home to be with her brother very, very soon. We are sending all of our love to our babies and their tired parents. XOXOXOXOX

About Grandma Cookie

The 14th of April, 2003 was the day that we lost Michael's Mom, Charlotte to Ovarian Cancer.  I am feeling pretty odd today ... both sad and happy? or maybe lucky (because Michael is doing so well) is a better word for it...today was the fifth anniversary of her passing.  I had a tricky relationship with Mom.  We loved each other very much but we were very similar... both of us very stubborn,  both of us felt we were always right and both very sure that the other was trying to control us and I think both very correct about this.  I know now that we were both very insecure but at the time I thought she hated me.  For some reason I always felt and sometimes acted like the 16 year old daughter.  I know she didn't mean to drive me nuts...and I didn't mean to make her crazy either...And I'd give anything to have her back...

She was also one of the sharpest people I ever knew...it is from her that Michael gets his smarts, his high cheek bones and curly hair, his tenacity, his analytical mind and especially his memory for facts and events.  When Dad had me go through her things for charity, I found at least one crossword puzzle, in various stages of completion, often more than one and a golf pencil in nearly every pocket book and coat she owned.  All told I found over 75 crossword puzzles she was in the process of completing....That is not to mention the completed puzzles...I believe she finished nearly every puzzle she attempted. And she could finish the NY Times Sunday Puzzle...have you finished one lately?  I have never completed one...

Charlotte was absolutely devoted to our children who called her "Grandma Cookie." (Dad's endearment for Mom was "Kook," short for "Cookie.")  Catya was only a little more than 2 years old when Grandma Cookie passed away but Benjy was 5 years old.  Benjy and Catya still talk about Grandma Cookie and want to know all about her and the things she did with them.  I think Ben will never be the same...Mom was so devoted to Ben and he adored her right back.  She used to laugh and laugh at Ben's stories.  Once she climbed up into the swing set and "helped" Benjy throw imaginary bombs at the dragons which infested our backyard at that time.  I remember Ben telling her "Com'on Grandma, Mommy says we have to pick up all of the dead dragons and put them in the compost pile."  We all laughed when we saw her "compost" all of those dead dragons... Anyway,  Dad misses her so much,  Michael misses her, I miss her and her beloved, grandchildren miss her...We all miss her so very much.

A Recipe for Disaster or The Great Chicken Debacle.

Post Script:  From now on the word "rotissary" will be played by the word "rotisserie."  Special recognition to my Dad who knows how to spell "rotisserie."  I should get some credit for knowing I wasn't spelling it correctly...It looked too much like rosary.  But then again I am the world's second worst speller...Imagine my horror when the Type Pad spell-checker is out of order....

Yesterday I actually got an early start and took Tilly (the dog) to the vet.  She has been making this horrible noise...sort of a cross between doggy throat clearing sound and a bathtub drain sound.  I thought that maybe she was still having trouble from "The Great Chicken Debacle."  When I felt her throat, there were two egg sized lumps and I was sure they were due to something she swallowed.  She seems to be fine besides the lumps and the hacking.

...Now I can't remember if I wrote about "The Great Chicken Debacle." SO let me tell you now.(...or refresh your memory?)  It all started three weeks ago at Papa Ed's house.  Dad and I were preparing my new favorite dinner...grocery store rotisserie chicken...what is not to love?  The chicken is made, tastes pretty good and is not very expensive. 

Here is my RECIPE for The "preparation" of the rotisserie chicken is the best part. I will provide the instructions for you here:

1.  Purchase one pre-cooked rotisserie chicken from your local grocery store and bring it home.

2.  Open the plastic box and remove the chicken.  It may seem obvious, but you must be careful as you attempt to open the tricky, plastic box, locking mechanisms...they can be simple to mind-blowingly difficult to figure out and open... Try not to cut yourself on the plastic, a trip to the emergency room can really complicate this simple dinner recipe.  I just use a big, sharp knife to open the chicken container.

3.  (OPTIONAL STEP)  It is a good idea to remove the giant rubberband-like-truss-thing found on the non-breast side of the chicken but it is not essential.  (If you can...sometimes it is not possible as the wings are generally non-cooperative in releasing the thing... usually I forget to remove the thing until I carve the bird.)

4.  (OPTIONAL) Reheat the chicken using any method you prefer...or not.  I like to purchase the chicken just before dinner...no reheating!

5.  Carve and serve. 

*6.  Immediately (Key word here: immediately) after dinner, toss the chicken carcass and plastic box the chicken came in*.  Do recycle the plastic chicken box in one of two ways.  You may either put the carcass inside the plastic box to toss it altogether as a nice, neat package or for a more, traditional take on recycling, you may wash and recycle the box and compost the bones.  The second option takes much more time but may greatly reduces the "carbon-footprint" of this meal.

*If you have a dog this step it the MOST important one.

Sounds simple doesn't it?  Well here is where things went terribly, terribly wrong.  The problematic step is...you guessed it...step 6.  Generally, I  collect all of the bones and take them out right after dinner is finished.  This way the Tilly doesn't get into them.  Right. 

So I explain this step to Dad and the danger of dogs and chicken bones.  Dad offers to clean up after dinner...he is the most wonderful man!  Later that evening, I find a few pieces of plastic, some shreaded paper napkins and a small piece of a plastic grocery bag...all of these items are strewn  (Terrific word strewn) about the kitchen.  I also find part of a plastic grocey bag dangling from a door knob.  From now on the kitchen will be refered to as "THE SCENE OF THE CRIME." Using my extensive television training in criminal forensic science, it takes just a few seconds to to figure out that someone, we'll call them "SUSPECT #1", had hung a small, plastic grocery bay full of something, we'll call it "CONTRABAND", on the door from the kitchen to the garage.   Shortly after SUSPECT #1 left the SCENE OF THE CRIME, a second someone, "SUSPECT #2", entered the SCENE OF THE CRIME and committed a violent assault upon the grocery sack and its contents, devouring them and part of the plastic grocery sack in very short order. I was able to profile the both SUSPECTS based on what little evidence I had. I deduced that SUSPECT #2 was short and stealthy, with a prior history of violence towards grocery sacks.  SUSPECT #1 was a helpful and generous sort of person with a history of OND (OBSESSIVE NEATNESS DISORDER.)   Obviously, SUSPECT #1 and SUSPECT #2 knew each other...clearly they had both spent time at the SCENE OF THE CRIME prior to this period of criminal activity...and it was even possible that SUSPECT #1 and SUSPECT #2 were "in cahoots."   Upon further analysis, my team and I figured that the aforementioned "CONTRABAND" was in fact, the reamains of one rotisserie chicken and the remains of one plastic chicken box...from the very same rotisserie chicken I had served for dinner!  Now the "little grey cells" were putting the pieces together.  The two suspects had been present at dinner that night.  I immediately ruled out Michael and Ben...as neither of them could ever be suspected of having the dreaded OND.  And Catya was easily ruled out as she had never expressed any violent feelings toward grocery bags...that left just two people...PAPA ED was clearly SUSPECT #1 and TILLY TEMKIN was SUSPECT #2.  I found the two of them in close proximity to each other.  TILLY evaded capture by hiding behind the couch, will call it her "EVIL LAIR."  Unfortunately for Tilly, her stomach rejected all of the items she ate in very short order...and poor Dad suffered from a terrible case of guilt...

AND that is why we call it "The Great Chicken Debacle."

A little less Calamity Cake

Hi all.  Marianne here as usual.  My Dad says that all my posts and comments are attributed to Michael but he has NEVER been on the blog. Can you believe it?  Nope, I take sole responsibility for the ridiculous content as well as the serious on this blog...well, I am not totally responsible for Mark's posts but then again who is?  I do have TOTAL EDITORIAL CONTROL...doesn't that sound impressive?  I think so.  So let's get down to business while the water for our macaroni and cheese heats to a boil.

Things are going pretty well with us here in Wantagh.  You know that Michael completed his first session of chemo on Thursday.  So far the side effects have been mild and few but the oncologist said that many of the side effects happen after a few rounds.  Michael says that he does feel slightly nauseated at times. Our Oncologist did prescribe a couple of different anti-nausea medications and they seem to be helping.

(By the way, did you know that technically speaking you can't feel "nauseous" ...you actually feel nauseated?  If you are "nauseous" it means that you have the potential to make OTHER PEOPLE nauseated...For another example, take the word poisonous.  If you are poisonous you have the potential to poison other people.  If you are poisoned...you see how it works.  I think, though, that usage of the word "nauseated" may have been changed by "common usage."  And while I am thinking of it.  Bill Gregory, our Superintendent of Schools in Canton, reminded me that in order to be robbed, you have to be present but if you were "burgled" you were not home when it happened.  Thanks Bill! I love this stuff.)

Some of the other effects Michael is experiencing are fatigue and mental "fuzziness" (this is a hard one for Michael to accept) and a loss of appetite for certain foods.  One of the foods that does seem to make him feel better is the Entenmann's Mini Chocolate Iced Donut.  Isn't that interesting?  I know that my chocoholic friends Janet and Barbara are not in the least surprised by this revelation.  The medicinal and restorative qualities of the mini chocolate donut are not to be underestimated!  I am thinking about writing a paper for Science or at least the New England Journal of Medicine (Snicker, it is not as if there haven't been many other questionable articles published in NEJM before.) ...sometimes I crack myself up.  So really things are going pretty well for us at the moment.

Another slice of the cake - Grandma Bunny was released from the hospital and feeling very happy to be back in her own home.  SO everything is looking up on that front.

My sister is holding steady but will remain in the hospital for the duration of the pregnancy.  My mother continues to purchase expensive, uber-soft nightgowns just to tear them apart in order to fashion protective coverings for all of the monitor straps and cords.  The straps of these monitors are mostly made of scratchy synthetic materials and must be covered because my poor sister still has the hellacious rash all over her body.  Nothing the doctors have given her or shmeered on the rash has worked to clear it up.  Sometimes she has the feeling that acid is running through her veins.  It has been an excruciating 8 weeks of this problem,  hopefully the rash will clear quickly after she has the babies but of course the babies need to develop a bit more before she can deliver them.   

So I guess we are slowly but surely devouring all of our calamity cake...I don't intend to order any more of this particular delicacy in the future.

Can you believe that the water for the macaroni has not boiled yet?  How I hate electric ranges....eerrggg.  In the immortal words of the Governator of California "I'll be back."

More trouble in Temkinland --Clothing Soup and Calamity Cake

In the words of Michael "Not to worry!"  None of the Temkin Tribulations are about Michael and his recovery.  Believe it or not Michael is the least worrisome of the Temkin Trouble...in fact, according to him, he is "down-right boring."  Michael is feeling pretty good as his first round of chemotherapy comes to an end.  We rescheduled Michael's chemotherapy for Tuesday instead of Monday because we had a ton of things for fix after the burglary.  So the first appointment with the Oncologist went very well.  She was very pleased with Michael's healing progress and signed off for the first chemo a little later in the day.  The chemo suites are really pretty comfortable as well as very beautifully decorated...not the usual for a hospital setting.  There are daffodils on the verge of blooming in every treatment area... AND the ART!  I really enjoy all of the great art in the offices at SK.  Most of the art in the main hospital in Manhattan is patient art and it is all wonderful.  No prints of washed out Monets and Van Goghs  nor the usual "art" which can only be described as cast offs from the local Super 8 Motel.  At the SK satellite, where Michael is doing his chemo, at the end of one sort of ethereal blue hallway there is a gorgeous iron sculpture that is much to large to slip into my pocket book...If Michael would only buy me an acetylene torch...So we sat for about three hours while the first group of chemo drugs was given intravenously through the Mediport...Michael had his own comfy seat and a flat screen television with headphones for each of us...I made more progress on my crochet project and Michael read a little and then he took a bit of a nap...then there was a large injection of another drug into tubing to the the port and finally the infuser bottle of the last drug was connected to the port and we were ready to go out to lunch and then home.  Currently, he is still plugged in to the infuser, there is a temperature sensitive valve? which is plugged into both the Mediport in Michael's chest and the balloon-within-a-bottle.  According to the nurses at SK at Mercy Hospital, the sensor works with Michael's body temperature to cause the bladder (they called it a "balloon") to slowly contract, and therefore, deliver the chemo drugs over the course of about 48 hours.  Michael carries the "balloon-within-a-bottle of drugs in a specially made pouch, about the size of a small folding umbrella or a medium cup of coffee at the SLU Bookstore.  He can hang the bag on his belt loop, his belt, keep it in a pocket, hang it around his neck or wear the bag on its strap as a belt.  I think Catya is eying the bag for her own usage...Tomorrow we go back and unhook the whole thing.  I will get a lesson on how to care for the Mediport and how to unhook the chemo on the second day...Some hospitals have the patient stay in the hospital for the whole treatment...we are thankful that here they do not.  One interesting side effect has been a strange sensitivity to cold things.  Apparently, when Michael touches something cold with his hand or mouth he gets the sensation of an "electrical shock that doesn't hurt."  So much for the adjuvant ice cream therapy I had planned for this phase of Michael's treatment.

So what's the Trouble in Temkinland? Oh, there's plenty my friends. Do read on. One problem with our house is that there are couple of spaces within the house that are not heated very well, if at all.  When the 3 kids broke the window out of the back door they created a huge problem in the laundry room.The temperature dropped that night and the pipes froze and then...you guessed it...the pipes burst.  It must have been one spectacular geyser, judging by the amount of water still dripping out of the carpet, which was now hanging over the backyard fence.  The laundry room and the basement below it were quite wet with standing pools of water everywhere.  Then I discovered that the water may have been "running" from Thursday to Monday (when the break-in was discovered)...that is going to be one "doosey" of a water bill next month!  On the Friday after we arrived home I discovered that two huge Rubbermaid storage containers containing CLOTHING SOUP...Each container had at least four inches of water inside them.  ***Note to self: Close storage containers carefully EVERY TIME***  So I begin to wash and dry all of the sweaters and winter gear we have stored in the laundry room...I quickly discover that the HOT/COLD setting on the washer produces only Arctic Water, I check the WARM/WARM  and WARM/COLD setting and discover the same thing...joint-numbingly-cold-water...Then I get an idea...I check the COLD/COLD setting where I cannot get ANY water at all!!!  EUREKA!  The repairman never turned the hot water on to moderate the temperature of the water coming out of the pipes just below the "permafrost" layer!  I turn on the HOT TAP and adjust the COLD TAP down a little...And PRESTO... I still have Arctic Water coming out on the HOT/HOT setting...The COLD/COLD setting, on the other hand is "Hotter than the hinges in Hell."   I am sure that you figured this out before I did...Yep, the plumber reversed the hot and cold pipes when he replaced them.

AND ANOTHER THING...So I can't remember if I mentioned my sister and her husband are expecting...gasp...triplets.  She is in her 29th or 30th week and she is doing very well so far...however, she had a little bit of trouble with her blood pressure and the doctors are keeping a very close watch on her and now she is on bed rest in the hospital until the babies come.  Hopefully, the babies will "stay in" for several more weeks and cook a little longer.  My Mom has gone to be with my sister and my brother-in-law to help them get ready for the babies and to keep my sister company.  Hopefully, my Mom will be able to get Eric to rest a bit.  He has been working like a dog, and worries about my sister and the babies. I think he has been staying in the hospital most nights to be with Noelle.  I know how it feels to be hanging out in the hospital...Oh yes and I cannot forget my Mom's other main job...taking care of her other "grand-dogs" Pancho, a chocolate lab and Bella, a beagle.  The other morning I was speaking with Mom on the phone and all of a sudden she says "Pancho, oh you are such a dog!"  and then she tells me that Pancho has just eaten a stick of butter...

Then for a little icing on our Calamity Cake, we have my Maternal Grandmother, Bunny.  I would tell you how old she is but she probably wouldn't like it if I did.  We call her Bunny, because when my Mom was pregnant with me, she asked Grandma what she would like her grandchildren to call her. (What a lot of pronouns in that last line) Grandma said "Bunny"  because she didn't want to be an "Old Grandma"  however she said she changed her mind about being called Grandma when she heard me say it for the first time.  SO Bunny, my kick-ass grandmother (I might tell you more about Bunny later but just know she is one of the coolest chicks I know), is also in the hospital and has been there for a week.  She does have some health issues but they had been pretty well managed up until last week. We are not quite sure what happened but hopefully she will be coming home soon.  My uncles, Bunny's sons will both be taking care of her while my Mom is away.